Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize