you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just gargled with NyQuil
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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