Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
