I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I checked into jail on foursquare
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
