imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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