you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
