that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
