and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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