Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it's like iHOP with fire
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
