we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
