Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
