if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize