Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
