I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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