i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
