i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
