I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
