70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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