Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
