fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
