is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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