Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
