She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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