just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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