Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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