There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
