you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
