I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
