I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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