you win again, gameday.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize