How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize