I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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