haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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