It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
