why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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