whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
