Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
