didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
