hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i need some magic done to my vagina
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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