so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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