there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize