you guys were way drunker than both of me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize