I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
