I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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