it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
