It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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