The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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