We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
