So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
