I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
