he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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