You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
