Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Oh god it's open bar.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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