It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
