I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize