i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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