I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
