He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
