She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
