just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She told me I should be a condom model.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
