just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
