whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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