Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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