Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
