Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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